Somewhere Along The Way, We Stopped Caring For Ourselves

Somewhere Along The Way, We Stopped Caring For Ourselves

As an esthetician, I spend a lot of time talking about skincare.

Cleansers.

Serums.

Moisturizers.

Sunscreen.

Microcurrent.

LED.

Peels.

And yes, I believe all of those things can be valuable.

But after more than 30 years in this industry, I've come to believe that many women don't need a more complicated skincare routine.

They need a more compassionate relationship with themselves.

Somewhere along the way, skincare stopped being self care and became self correction.

Women stand in front of the mirror searching for flaws before they've even said good morning to themselves.

They look for wrinkles.

Dark circles.

Sagging.

Pigmentation.

Pores.

Lines.

Things to fix.

Things to fight.

Things to hide.

And the beauty industry has become very good at encouraging that mindset.

We are constantly being told that we should be improving, correcting, tightening, lifting, reversing, and repairing.

The message is subtle but persistent:

You are not quite enough yet.

Just buy one more thing.

Do one more treatment.

Fix one more flaw.

And maybe then you'll feel beautiful.

But what if we've been asking the wrong question?

What if beauty isn't something we achieve?

What if beauty is something we remember?

One of the things I encourage my clients to do is create a skincare ritual.

Not because I want them to use more products.

Quite the opposite.

I want them to slow down.

I want them to place their products in a beautiful basket or a special space.

I want them to close the door.

Take a breath.

Feel their feet on the ground.

And for just a few minutes, stop taking care of everyone else.

When applying their products, I encourage them to thank their skin.

To thank their body.

To look at themselves with kindness.

To speak to themselves the way they would speak to someone they love.

For many women, this feels surprisingly difficult.

We are so accustomed to criticism that compassion feels unfamiliar.

But that is exactly why it matters.

Skincare can absolutely improve the appearance and health of your skin.

But it can also be something much deeper.

It can become a daily reminder that you matter.

That your needs matter.

That caring for yourself is not selfish.

In a culture that celebrates busyness, productivity, and self-improvement, slowing down can almost feel rebellious.

Yet it may be one of the most important things we do.

Because beautiful skin is wonderful.

But learning to treat yourself with kindness may be even more transformative.

Maybe the goal isn't perfect skin.

Maybe the goal is coming home to yourself.